Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Bisexuality (featuring the cast of Star Trek)

Let's talk about Biphobia. A serious topic for once, but one I felt that I needed to talk about.

"Biphobia is aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a social group or as individuals. People of any sexual orientation can experience such feelings of aversion. Biphobia is a source of discrimination against bisexuals, and may be based on negative bisexual stereotypes or irrational fear"

So basically it means you're a cunt.

There are many, many things that continue to elude my understanding and not many produces as many facepalms as biphobia (and negative bisexual stereotype, for that matter, which I will also talk about).

I mean sure, of course homophobia is terrible (after all I am gay, duh) but the way people perceives bisexuals are beyond ridiculous and is quite absurd.

There are people that do not believe that bisexuality exists... "bisexuals just basically means they're unsure if they're gay or straight", "bisexuals are just desperate people who needs sex all the time, doesn't matter if they're a man or a woman". Wait. I think I lost my ability of speech... urrhhh...

What's so wrong with loving a person, regardless of gender?

There are some people that are fine with homosexuals, but not with bisexuals... Absolutely baffling. I just don't understand at all. I would talk more about this part but I just can't, because I don't understand why this is the case. "Because bisexual people are greedy!" Everyone of any sexuality can be greedy... one doesn't need to be bisexual for that, surely?

One thing I don't get AT ALL is that many lesbians/gay guys I know do not like/trust bisexuals and/or go out with one because they will leave them/cheat on them with a guy/girl or they're just greedy. This warrants a double facepalm.

FLASHING NEWS: it doesn't matter what gender and sexuality one is anyone can be cheaters. If a girl leaves a girl for another guy, does it matter? They still left you for another person regardless, and it's the same for cheating. If they cheat on you (doesn't matter what gender that person is) it is still cheating. 

If they cheated on you, dump that pathetic ass.

And now another shocking announcement ...

FLASHING NEWS NUMBER 2: A bisexual person can be committed to one person for a very long time.

It's all very hard to take in, isn't it?


It's not like that every straight or gay person is monogamous. It all depend on the person, the human being.

It's not exactly rocket science (although rocket science is a lot easier to understand than biphobia). It was like I was once told by another bisexual that she was baffled that someone of a minority group (homosexuals) would not accept bisexuals, it is rather ironic...

Like, as a gay person, I experienced homophobia before and it is not pretty, so why would they want to inflict this onto bisexual people? I remember seeing on Tumblr that a popular gay magazine asked a question on Twitter "Would you ever date a bisexual man?" and the reply was staggering, most of them was a blatant "Fuck no!"

Google "Would you date a bisexual man?" and see it for yourselves.

One thing I don't get either is that if a bisexual woman is in a committed relationship with a man, she's suddenly straight, or if she's in a committed relationship with a woman, she's suddenly a lesbian. 

No, she is still of a bisexual orientation regardless of what gender her partner is! Bisexual people don't need to sleep with both gender at the same time to justify themselves.

"But bisexuality is a choice!"


Bisexuality (or homosexuality for that matter) is no more of a choice than your natural hair colour, your natural eye colour, your height, your nose shape, your eye shape and so on. 

What is a choice is coming out and embracing one's bisexuality, but unfortunately some people refrain from doing so because of so many close minded arses out there.

Rant. Over.

Why I Love Deaf People


Hearing people:

Deaf people:
"AAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEHHHHH-CHUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh man that was a massive one! Let's laugh about it!"

The Loo

Hearing people:
Go straight to the loo without announcing

Deaf people:
"I'm going to the toilet right now and do a MASSIVE shit, I've been feeling it for ages!"

Weight Gain

Hearing people:
(After gaining 2 stones)
"Erm... I mean no offence or something but... just be careful because you're putting on weight and I don't want you, to know, get fat..."

Deaf people:
(After gaining 2 pounds)
"Are you pregnant or what?"


Hearing people:
Politely eating and not speaking with their mouth full

Deaf people:
Signing all over the table, fork smashes plate, knife makes a loud grinding noise with plate (sounds like cutlery sex), opening mouth with pieces of food sticking out of mouth, slurping food very nosily

People falling in public

Hearing people:
"Oh are you okay ma'am? Let me help you..."

Deaf people:



Heaing people:
"Yeah, I got the doctors. It's a bit personal, sorry"

Deaf people:
"Aye, cause my balls are very swollen and I got a lump and my arse is bleeding! Bloody sore I'm telling you!"


Hearing people
"You look rather tired! What did you do?"

Deaf people
"You look absolutely SHIT!"

Party introduction in the first 5 minutes

Hearing people:
"Hello... my name is David... I work as a manager for Starbucks..."

Deaf people:
"HELLO! My name is Heather! This is my signing name! I'm a business student at Strathclyde Uni! I'm 22, I'm a bisexual, I went to a mainstream school, all my family is hearing but my brothers are deaf, I got hearing aids though they found out I was deaf when I was one, I learnt BSL when I was 15, I've got a boyfriend but I broke up with my last girlfriend because she was such a cow and she cheated on me, see that guy? He fancies my best friend but he is such a creep, I had sex with that person before blah blah blah and so on and on and on"

Art/Photography Exhibition

Hearing people:
"Well... that is most certainly interesting..."

Deaf people:
"Oh my god that is SO shit! What the fuck is that supposed to be?"


Hearing people:
Knows a few people out of dozens of people

Deaf people:
Practically snogged half of the people at the camp


Hearing people:
"That's... uhm... a nice skirt..."

Deaf people:
"Where did you get that fucking skirt? You look like Margaret fucking Thatcher!"


Hearing people:
Mostly no problems, apart of occasional cases of forgotten passports, wrong seats, wrong food types and similar problems

Deaf people (1):
"I'm deaf..."
"Oh... Do you need a wheelchair? Do you need your instruction in Braille?"

Deaf people (2):
"I'm deaf..."
"Oh okay come over here and sit with all those of obviously physically disabled people and elderly people and you will go on the plane first and other people will give you the evil eyes wondering why you're on it first!"
*feels guilty but then don't give a shit*

More will be added over time! If you have any extra, let me know please. Big thanks to everyone who contributed to this.

Monday, 10 June 2013

Types of Embarrassingly Bad Kissers

(A lot of the credit goes to my sister Klarissa, and Tasha, Frankie, Baz and Ciaran for ideas :) )

The Hoover

like omg you are supposed to be massaging my lips not giving me a reverse cpr or something idk ok pls do not suck the life out of my lips that will happen when i die ok just kiss me it cant be that hard

Teeth Clasher

STAHP PLS like omg you are supposed to be kissing me not waging a war on my teeth ok omg stop banging your teeth on me with your teeth it actually is very annoying believe it or not (not ripley's believe it or not it is true ok)

The Ripper

like omg i want to keep my own piercing pls do not bite on my lips so hard my lip piercing is practically screaming you to stahp and it is not a living thing this is how bad you are (ok that was my sister she has a lip piercing but i was trying to make it dramatic ok) even without piercings it is not ok to bite my lips too hard so often that you are eating my lips it is not a delicacy you may think otherwise but i repeat my lips are not for eating ok

Frigid Kisses

pls open your mouth you are not 5 years old i thought you would have mastered kissing by now you can continue now go ahead and open your mouth and move towards my head and proceed with this process we humans call kissing ok just stop making this whole process so awkward it is not supposed to be awkward but then i suppose if it was awkward maybe we shouldnt be kissing in the first place

The Pecker

like stop pecking me you are not a woodpecker ok kiss me like a normal human being thnx i am not a chunk of wood or a tree or whatever else idk ok go to specsavers then you can see that i am a human being and i need to be loved not be drilled at on my mouth ok

The Fish

STAHP you are a human being again ok pls stop making that weird noise omg its putting me off i swear i can see bubbles coming out of you bbc breaking news you are not a goldfish surprise i know that might be hard to accept so just kiss me pls

The Washing Machine

omg you need glasses cant you not see that i am not a washing machine my tongue is not a laundry wanting to be clean there is omg such thing as too much ok pls stop confusing my tongue ok it doesnt know what to do anymore

Extreme Tongue Biter

i am adventurous i like a bit of biting oh yes pls kinky times but pls do not bite my tongue off so you can cook it and eat it i am not an ox pls ok i think its quite disgusting people eat ox tongue with tongue idk but thats just me but srsly do not bite my tongue off

"Look, No Lips!"

srsly stahp what the fuck are you doing you do not just go up to people with your tongues out like a dog srsly what are you on use your bloody lips people will run away screaming for their lifes if you approach them with your tongue out i mean seriously think about it if a giant man with a massive tongue (except gene simmons) approached you what would you have done run away yeah exactly i thought so

The Innocent

what are you an angel no okay they pls use your tongues i mean i don't mind people not kissing without tongues for a while but c'mon srsly use your tongue at one point eventually ok stop just using your mouth there is such thing as using too much mouth you are not 5 years old and no i do not have cooties ok

The Nibbler

like srsly my mouth is not a piece of food that you can just nibble off like a wee squeaky mouse ok we are not kids we can actually kiss full on like what the french people does ok although why do they call it the french kiss idk spanish people are hotter ok but yeah stop nibbling my mouth ok

The Hooter

like ok if you want to switch side and i will lean to the left or right once in a while obvs i understand but pls dont do it every 2 seconds ok i cannot move my heid like an owl coz surprise i am not an owl and neither are you look at this poor owl he is sad because when you do that he isnt good enough so when you stop switching your head he will be happy ok pls think of this poor owl you heartless bastard

The Sea

kisses from the sea shore sounds very romantic but it really isnt i mean imagine snogging at the sea face on see not pretty so it doesnt also means that i like it coming from a human being omg i mean slightly wet can be expected but stahp licking my whole face you are not a sea nor a dog or a sea dog srsly gads if you make a girl wet thats ok but wet face is not ok so pls put that tongue away

The Grim Reaper

srsly do not give me a fright to a death while kissing this is the last thing i am expecting ok i just want a good time not to find that you have been kissing me with your eyes wide open the whole time omg i need to catch my breath i want to be catching my breath after hanky panky not because you almost scared me to death omg srsly

The Mocktail

like omg how the hell can you get more than one of the above like omg you need a basic kissing lesson level 0.1 omg go and watch brokeback mountain and see how jake gylennhall and heath ledger kisses in the film i know i am gay the lesbian kind but it is not a bad place to start ok becos apparently it is very hot

Sunday, 24 March 2013

Lesbian Loves Cats... mostly.

Holy hell. Another blog so soon? This is what I get for going to Beanscene to 'study'. Not a good idea.

Now, introducing the next topic with this photograph -

I'm going to write about a common lesbian stereotype. Which is mostly true. In my experience. I think.

Why do many (note I said many, not all lesbians are the same) lesbians loves cat or makes so much jokes about being a old lady with million of cats...

"Because it's a visual pun!"

Honestly, this baffles me. In my opinion, dogs are clearly better. They're affectionate and plays with you! They're happy to see you! But I'm just going ahead and write why I think so many of them loves cats and my experience with them.

The first time I heard about this stereotype was when I was around 19 when I was down in England giving deaf awareness talk at a LBGT event (I was openly 'bisexual' at the time, though I was thinking that I might actually be gay. Imagine that, me with a guy) there was a lesbian comedian. She was talking and joking about lesbians and cats and I seriously did NOT get it and I must've been the only one not laughing, because she noticed and said that I was a "straight person in disguise." Well, I did get the jokes about cats and pussies.

This confused me so much, that I decided to inquire afterwards on this with other people. I asked around and the first lesbian showed me a picture of her two cats on her keyring and went on and on about Snuffles and Snuggles. The second one had three cats named Ping, Pong and Pac. There was only one lesbian who didn't have cats. Lastly, I spoke to one really funny couple and joked about this is what happens when two crazy cat lovers get together; they had not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight BUT NINE CATS between them. "Heh, funny, because cats have nine lives. So yes, altogether we have 81 lives."

So this made me do research on the relationship between lesbians and cats (because obviously anything to avoid doing my assignment due on Tuesday - procrastination for the win).

So here is some of the more bizarre explanations of why many lesbians loves cat that I read online...

"Petting one's furry friend is a very delicate matter that shouldn't be taken lightly.  Furry like cat.  Also, like ladybits."

"Pussies can love toys, but they can also sometimes enjoy just an au-naturale pat session.  There's a whole world of kitty-toys out there, and it's important to find the right one.  No two kitties are alike.  Make kitty feel special."

"Kitties come in all manner of fur.  Some keep their fur short, others long and feral.  Point being: all cats are beautiful.  And, being that a great many lesbians are feminists, lesbians really appreciate that."

"Seriously, though.  Can anyone tell what gender a cat is just by looking at it?  And just like cats, the lesbian community is chock full of gender-f*cking and double-takes.  We're all about equality, on all fronts."

Cats always put their own interests first and don't take crap from anybody. And their purring is irresistible."




Saturday, 23 March 2013

Shit People Say to a Deaf Lesbian

"You're too pretty to be gay."
"You're too ugly to be straight."

"You're too pretty to be deaf."
"You're too ugly to be 'hearing'."

"Oh my god, your English is so good!"

"You don't sound deaf!"

"You don't look deaf"

"You don't look gay at all"

"You don't dress like a lesbian!"

(When in a relationship)
"So which one of you are like the guy?"
The point of a lesbian relationship is that there is NO guys...

(When in a relationship)
"So, which one of you wears the trouser?"
"Well, neither of us. If you get it." Wink.

"Lesbian are just wannabe mens."

"I wish I was a lesbian! It would be easier!"
Really guys, ANYONE of any gender or sexuality can be cunts.

"How do you know? You haven't fucked a man before!"
"How do you know you won't like eating cat shit?"

"You're just doing it to get the attention from men."

"Is that girl gay? What about that girl? That girl?"
"Oh shit I dunno, let me just check my Gaydar watch!"

"So do you want to join me and my girlfriend in bed?"

"But I thought deaf people aren't allowed to drive?"

"You're deaf? Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that..."
This violin is playing for your ignorance...

"But if you have a... hearing processor then you're not deaf right?"
Even more interesting, some deaf people have said this before...

(From deaf people about me having a cochlear implant)
"You want to be hearing right?!"

"Ew! Don't fancy me!"
"Sweet thing, don't fucking flatter yourself."

"So you're... gay... Right..."
"Don't worry, I only fancy pretty girls."

"Can you have children?"
"What do you mean? Because I'm gay?"
"But you can get IVF... I meant because you're deaf?"
Let me refer you to the anatomy of a woman's womb, thank you very much.

"Being a lesbian isn't normal"

"But how does lesbian have sex?"

"But it's not real sex..."

(Men... mostly!)
"Can I watch you both have sex?"

"Do deaf people have sex differently?"
Just... WHAT? It's not like Deaf people are aliens or something...

And last but not the least...

"So when you look at your own boobs, do you get horny?"
What. Even.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

The Pad

At the time this happened, I seriously cringed. What if THIS happened to me? Too many imaginative scenarios running through my head! It was so embarrassing but now when I look behing, I can't stop laughing that it's almost impossible for me to tell this to my friends:

"And then she-" *laughs*
"She had this-" *howling with laughter*
"C'mon, Bea!"
"I just, it's so embarrassing, on her scarf, she had thi-" *laughs even harder*

Impossible. So I just show them my Facebook status. Anyway, let's move on with the story!

After a long class talking about prams, I headed off to the financial office (trying to talk to SAAS through my stepdad (because I'm deaf) is akin to talking to a brick wall) but before I entered the building, a woman walked out of the building.

What's so embarrassing about this?

She had a SANITARY TOWEL stuck to her scarf. Thankfully, it was a clean one otherwise I'd have nightmares and won't be able to touch women for a while... Wait, who am I kidding?

I stared at her so obviously that she snapped at me (whoops, hormones all over the place) "What are you looking at?"

"Uhm... er... You have this... pad... on your scarf..." while pointing and wriggling my finger at her scarf.

What she did next completely bewildered me. If it was me, I'd snatch it off and stuff it in the pocket, go so red and hope never to bump into this rude girl who stared at me.

But she went something like "Oh my fucking lord, so that's where it went!" and rushed BACK into the building, probably to take it off in the toliet.

So that's where it went?

(Next part is a bit graphic for many boys I expect. You have been warned.)

Did she leave the clean one on her leg while she tried to wrap the dirty one, but the clean one got stuck on her scarf and she couldn't find it anywhere or forgot that she already took one out, then took another one out?

Call me paranoid or something but if I think I lost it, I'd be looking EVERYWHERE in the toilet cubicle, even my body. Even coming out of a public toilet on a normal day, I check my feet and my arse to see there is no toliet paper dangling from it.

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Women of Asia

I thought I'd bring this blog back into the living world... by talking about one of my favourite subjects: women. I don't normally talk to people I don't know about women, unless I am drunk, which is not very often. Most of my friends like men, so I talk about men more than I talk about women, to my greatest peril. I must admit, Chris Pine is one handsome hunk!

I sometimes read blog on I love the Hot 100 list. I love anything with Top 100 men/women.

I so prefer that list, compared to this year's FHM list that I went over with a close friend of mine. Guess who was number one? Yes, you got it right, it is indeed the ultra famous Geordie Cheryl Cole. Followed by plastic looking Megan Fox. Then Marisa Miller, a flashy American model. There were even (gasp!) glamour models in them, posing with half of their nipples peeping out. Is this the very best list heterosexual men has to offer us?

In Diva magazine last year - who was number one? Not Cheryl Cole or Megan Fox. No, not even Kate Moennig. Nope. She has blonde hair... no, not Scarlett Johasson either, though she is one hot stuff. It is the one and only Pink! Second in the list is Nigella Lawson and third is, yes, Kate Moennig. To you heterosexual people, Kate Moennig plays the infamous Shane from the L-Word. Not that I like the L-Word, I actually think it's rubbish, except perhaps for the hilarious first series.

Anyways, to get to my point, one thing I immediately noticed after reading the AfterEllen Hot 100 list was the fact that there were no Oriental women in the list, such as women from the Far East or South East Asia.



Not even Zhang Ziyi, or Sandra Oh for goodness sake, who were in previous Hot 100 list? Or even partly Asian actresses, such as Grace Park or even Lucy Liu?

Oh dear.

Then I looked in FHM - no Asians. Hardly surprising at all. DIVA has one - Jenny Shimizu. Seriously? Urgh. She is nowhere near attractive or hot. Hell, even I'd rather shag a fit guy than Shimizu. Even though she went out with Angelica Jolie.

So I decided to compile my own list of the hottest Far East and South East Asia women!

I am afraid that this list is not entirely accurate, as in some of them is not the hottest Asian women I know, because there is a couple of Thai, Japanese and Korean star whose name eludes me so I'll settle down for this list... for the time being! If I ever remember them, they'll obviously be here on this blog.

They are in no particular order... except perhaps for one.

Oh, before I start the list, I got some pictures from Amy Wong's personal blog about the same thing and I agree with many of her list (I don't think Xun Zhou should be in the list, but that is my opinion of course), but I also want to include South Eastern Asians, since I am half Thai. :)

Gong Li

Gong Li is my personal favourite. She is a Chinese born Singaporean actress. You may remember her in Memoirs of a Geisha, the Curse of the Golden Flower, but I've seen her in many films as a teenager, such as Raise the Red Lantern, Temptress Moon and Emperor and the Assassins.

She can pull the sultry look in a classical way with such ease. She oozes sexiness. Hell, if I look a tenth as beautiful/hot as Gong Li, I consider myself lucky. Enough said.

Maggie Cheung

She is extremely famous in China, Hong Kong and some other parts in East Asia. My family is Chinese, you see, but raised in Thailand without losing their Chinese values, consider Maggie Cheung a screen legend. I heartily agree. If you've seen the beautifully created Hero, you'll know her as Flying Snow. It is not difficult to see why she is a screen legend

And can I just say, I just LOVE that photograph of Maggie Cheung? In fact, I'll buy a lipstick that shade of red...

Michelle Yeoh

Okay, maybe this photograph is not like, a sexy one of her or a very beautiful one, but I fell in love with her when I saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon when I was such a young girl. It still remains one of my favourite movies ever. Then after that, my mother would show me many films with Michelle Yeoh in it.

She was my role model when I young. When I got older, I saw her beauty. Another reason I included SE Asian women was because Michelle Yeoh is actually Chinese Malaysian, just like my dear beloved granny.

I saw this article a long while ago, you can see why she was my role model.

"She does most of her own stunts, has survived a host of injuries: a ruptured artery in her leg, dislocated shoulder, cracked rib from an 18ft fall, burns. She famously threw a pillow at a film executive who had the temerity to tell her she would make a great Bond girl. "When you think of the Bond girls, you think of these bimbos yelling, 'Help, James! Save me, save me!"' Yeoh said at the time. "I could never relate to them. I always thought of myself as James Bond.""

The women of Wondergirls (Sunye, Yoobin, Ye-eun, Hye-rim, Sohee )

I discovered the Korean mega band after seeing my family in Thailand - they are such a HUGE hit among the Thais. I don't like pop, but I have a weakness for certain J-Pop and K-Pop. I love the fact that they don't need to bare too much skin to be popular, and OH MY GOODNESS their dresses are 99.9% of the time cute! I love their dresses. Well, just their stage dresses! Especially the 20's to 70's Western dresses with a hint of East Asia.

But most importantly, they are all hot.

Warattaya "Juy" Nilkuha

She is a Thai actress, whose informal name is simply "Juy". It was actually difficult to find pictures of her, since she is not a public person. The picture says it all. (Mostly because I don't know about her, other than one of the Thai drama I've seen her in.)

Lee Hyori

I did not notice her because she dyed her hair - which I thought was a very bad move. Then she went back to her natural roots, and don't you think that photograph of Lee is super cute? She is a Korean singer/actress, and I remember her in the famous K-pop band, Fin K.L, since they were known in Thailand.

Park Jin Hee

She is not that famous yet, but I saw her on a K-drama, Please Come Back Soon-Ae. It didn't have English subtitles but I remember Park Jin Hee. I wouldn't have remembered her if it wasn't for the fact that I remembered part of the title, Soon-Ae. Don't you think she is hot? I think she is.

Grace Park

Grace Park is in one of my favourite sci-fi programmes - Battlestar Galatica. The new one, not the old one. I remember thinking, hot damn, she has a great body! I must admit, it was so bloody difficult to find a decent photograph of Grace Park that I really do like, because most of her pictures are super sexy ones, but I'll include a small one with Battlestar Galatica co-star Tricia Helfer, to show you what I mean. In fact, if you Google or Bing her (now that sound dirty), you'll see what I mean.

Tata Young

I never thought that the Thai-American singer/model/dancer was particularly hot, until she got a make over. I love her smile. I think the picture says enough.

Aoi Miyazaki

I first saw Aoi Miyazaki in NANA when I was on the Emirates flight to Thailand, since foreign films were the only films to have subtitles at the time, and I fell in love with the film and Aoi Miyazaki, who plays Nana Komatsu (Hachi). It is a great film, I'd recommend this film to anyone.

Utada Hikaru

The Japanese singer was MEGA famous in Japan, Thailand and perhaps even Korea at one point. She was known in America and some parts of Europe. I admit, I did like her music at one point. But not I can't remember anymore. Her eyes are wide and extraordinary.

And... uh... Let me think...

Yes! Oh. Nope, that's not her...

Got it! Oh, dammit...

Let's Google then!

Nope... I can't read Thai or Korean, so it's of no use...

I GIVE UP! I've been searching for hours looking for that three BEAUTIFUL Thai actress but I do not know their extremely long names and unfortunately my mother or aunt do not know who I meant. There is also another Korean actress, and my sister knows who, but we both cannot recall her name.

Because of this - I've just ordered a bunch of Asian DVD's. If I did this list two years ago, I'd remember more Asian actress without ease. I have already wast- uh, I mean, used up over three (possibly four) hours typing this blog, so time to post it!