Sneezing
Hearing people:
"Ah...choo!"
"Ah...choo!"
Deaf people:
"AAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEHHHHH-CHUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh man that was a massive one! Let's laugh about it!"
"AAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEHHHHH-CHUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh man that was a massive one! Let's laugh about it!"
The Loo
Hearing people:
Go straight to the loo without announcing
Deaf people:
"I'm going to the toilet right now and do a MASSIVE shit, I've been feeling it for ages!"
Weight Gain
Hearing people:
(After gaining 2 stones)
"Erm... I mean no offence or something but... just be careful because you're putting on weight and I don't want you, to know, get fat..."
Deaf people:
(After gaining 2 pounds)
"Are you pregnant or what?"
Dinners
Hearing people:
Politely eating and not speaking with their mouth full
Deaf people:
Signing all over the table, fork smashes plate, knife makes a loud grinding noise with plate (sounds like cutlery sex), opening mouth with pieces of food sticking out of mouth, slurping food very nosily
People falling in public
Dinners
Hearing people:
Politely eating and not speaking with their mouth full
Deaf people:
Signing all over the table, fork smashes plate, knife makes a loud grinding noise with plate (sounds like cutlery sex), opening mouth with pieces of food sticking out of mouth, slurping food very nosily
People falling in public
Hearing people:
"Oh are you okay ma'am? Let me help you..."
Deaf people:
"HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Doctors
Heaing people:
"Yeah, I got the doctors. It's a bit personal, sorry"
Deaf people:
"Aye, cause my balls are very swollen and I got a lump and my arse is bleeding! Bloody sore I'm telling you!"
Wellbeing
Hearing people
"You look rather tired! What did you do?"
Deaf people
"You look absolutely SHIT!"
Party introduction in the first 5 minutes
Hearing people:
"Hello... my name is David... I work as a manager for Starbucks..."
Deaf people:
"HELLO! My name is Heather! This is my signing name! I'm a business student at Strathclyde Uni! I'm 22, I'm a bisexual, I went to a mainstream school, all my family is hearing but my brothers are deaf, I got hearing aids though they found out I was deaf when I was one, I learnt BSL when I was 15, I've got a boyfriend but I broke up with my last girlfriend because she was such a cow and she cheated on me, see that guy? He fancies my best friend but he is such a creep, I had sex with that person before blah blah blah and so on and on and on"
Art/Photography Exhibition
Hearing people:
"Well... that is most certainly interesting..."
Deaf people:
"Oh my god that is SO shit! What the fuck is that supposed to be?"
Camps
Hearing people:
Knows a few people out of dozens of people
Deaf people:
Practically snogged half of the people at the camp
Fashion
Hearing people:
"That's... uhm... a nice skirt..."
Deaf people:
"Where did you get that fucking skirt? You look like Margaret fucking Thatcher!"
Airports
Hearing people:
Mostly no problems, apart of occasional cases of forgotten passports, wrong seats, wrong food types and similar problems
Deaf people (1):
"I'm deaf..."
"Oh... Do you need a wheelchair? Do you need your instruction in Braille?"
Deaf people (2):
"I'm deaf..."
"Oh okay come over here and sit with all those of obviously physically disabled people and elderly people and you will go on the plane first and other people will give you the evil eyes wondering why you're on it first!"
*feels guilty but then don't give a shit*
More will be added over time! If you have any extra, let me know please. Big thanks to everyone who contributed to this.
*feels guilty but then don't give a shit*
More will be added over time! If you have any extra, let me know please. Big thanks to everyone who contributed to this.
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