Saturday, 23 March 2013

Shit People Say to a Deaf Lesbian

"You're too pretty to be gay."
"You're too ugly to be straight."

"You're too pretty to be deaf."
"You're too ugly to be 'hearing'."

"Oh my god, your English is so good!"

"You don't sound deaf!"

"You don't look deaf"

"You don't look gay at all"

"You don't dress like a lesbian!"

(When in a relationship)
"So which one of you are like the guy?"
The point of a lesbian relationship is that there is NO guys...

(When in a relationship)
"So, which one of you wears the trouser?"
"Well, neither of us. If you get it." Wink.

"Lesbian are just wannabe mens."

"I wish I was a lesbian! It would be easier!"
Really guys, ANYONE of any gender or sexuality can be cunts.

"How do you know? You haven't fucked a man before!"
"How do you know you won't like eating cat shit?"

"You're just doing it to get the attention from men."

"Is that girl gay? What about that girl? That girl?"
"Oh shit I dunno, let me just check my Gaydar watch!"

"So do you want to join me and my girlfriend in bed?"

"But I thought deaf people aren't allowed to drive?"

"You're deaf? Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that..."
This violin is playing for your ignorance...

"But if you have a... hearing processor then you're not deaf right?"
Even more interesting, some deaf people have said this before...

(From deaf people about me having a cochlear implant)
"You want to be hearing right?!"

"Ew! Don't fancy me!"
"Sweet thing, don't fucking flatter yourself."

"So you're... gay... Right..."
"Don't worry, I only fancy pretty girls."

"Can you have children?"
"What do you mean? Because I'm gay?"
"But you can get IVF... I meant because you're deaf?"
Let me refer you to the anatomy of a woman's womb, thank you very much.

"Being a lesbian isn't normal"

"But how does lesbian have sex?"

"But it's not real sex..."

(Men... mostly!)
"Can I watch you both have sex?"

"Do deaf people have sex differently?"
Just... WHAT? It's not like Deaf people are aliens or something...

And last but not the least...

"So when you look at your own boobs, do you get horny?"
What. Even.

No comments:

Post a Comment